You know when you enter a room and feel like you completely stick out because of what you’re wearing?  Like you didn’t get the memo that you were supposed to dress like a complete basic moron?  Yeah, that feeling sucks!  Growing up in New York and attending a performing arts school where boys in heels were nbd- it was kind of a culture shock moving to the Midwest.

All of a sudden there was this pressure to “fit in” that I had never felt in New York.

Ever since I was little I loved dressing up and putting together outfits.  I went to catholic school from pre-k to high school and you can bet on our “dressed down” days, I was fully decked out in Abercrombie.

It was a pretty liberal Catholic school and the most bullied I ever got was the occasional “Are you gay??”  To which I would reply with a fast and dismissive “No, why?!”

It wasn’t until I visited my friend in Lincoln, Nebraska last September, that I remembered the rest of our wonderful country existed…

I remember picking out my outfits for the weekend.  I stuck with a dark ALL SAINTS vibe that lets just say, the people of Lincoln didn’t quite understand *insert eye roll*.  On the first night we walked outside and a guy on the street yelled, “Are you gay?!”  I’m a naturally confident person, but in that moment I felt like a little 10 year old boy again.

Luckily, I know what I should and shouldn’t let bother me.  I knew this guy on the street had probably never spoken to a gay person before but still, it got me thinking…

If I felt this uncomfortable from one guy, I can’t imagine what being a young kid in the middle of a small town is like.  It takes so much courage as a young person, especially a young gay boy, to put together an outfit and hope the world accepts it.  I remember as a child, meticulously putting on clothes trying to look fashionable without looking like I cared too much.

What’s so wrong with caring?!

At the end of the day you can’t make everyone happy, so why are you trying?   That’s what I’d like you to take away from this post.  There’s a famous saying, “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter , don’t mind.”

Surround yourself with inspiring people who love and accept you for who you are.

I want to push the idea of getting out of your comfort zone with your outfits and silencing that bully in your head.  Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.  If you choose to live your life in fear and doubt, you’ll never be happy!

I’m all about dressing for the occasion and “knowing your audience” but there comes a time when you need to just say fuck it and do you.  Be who you are, wherever you are.  If I’ve learned anything from my move to Chicago 5 years ago, it’s that you need to stick to your guns and not mold into your surroundings.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ciao for now,



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